Struggling to Find Words
I often question whether I belong in the body in which I reside. I sometimes like it, I sometimes dislike it. Either way, it often does not quite reflect my inner feelings. As a gender fluid person, I may feel and present myself as feminine one day, masculine the next, and androgynous another day. I did not learn the words which described my queer experiences until long after I began having those experiences. I never knew what gay or bisexual meant until sixth grade although I recall having crushes on people of the same sex as early as five years old. I did not learn about transgender and non-binary people until high school. I felt relief when I learned those words, I was not the only person in the world with those feelings. In this work, I am focusing on my relationship with gender and how the form of the body can be shown without gender being clear.
Disparate images are combined and shown alongside one another – the work becomes an examination of queer community, but also queering genre of representation to arrive at a new understanding of both gender and the image. Some images in this body of work depict me interacting with my queer friends, or them interacting with each other. The images attempt to show solidarity among queer folks. They include documentation of late-night conversations, protests, political organizing trips, and parties. These documents help me analyze my journey of creating a family with those who have similar experiences. The combination of images represents the queer experience which includes a variety of emotions.